I’m a Science-Fiction fanatic. I shit you not.
Deep-space travel, interstellar warfare, worm-holing, Supernova’s, clouds of dust and gas collapsing within their own gravity, galactic mayhem, planetary discovery… you fucking name it, I am in sexual reproductive love with it.
Hell, add some Horror into the equation, and I will more often than not refer to it as hardcore porno.
Anyways, after watching this brilliant series hosted by Particle Physicist, Brian Cox (Wonders of the Solar system)… shortly followed by another viewing of Pandorum… I was once again rocketed into my imaginary world of space exploration – which is bent on:
- Fictional research into unexplained phenomena.
- Pondering and calculating the possibility of other Earth-like planets.
- Evading close encounters… such as Extra Terrestrial Anal Probing – otherwise known as ETAP. Use in a sentence… “I was ETAP’d“.
- 6th sensory communication. In other words, advanced speech.
- As well as debunking the many ways the world might end – and the stupidity of pre-apocalyptic mass suicides.
Awesome.
So after carelessly eyeing over some “creepy” UFO sightings, and other Bermuda Triangle horseshit that I was once fascinated with… I hastily ejected myself from Planet Ra-Tard… and thus commenced the search for something bubbling with reasonable insight – arriving at a wikipedia article on Alien Abduction Insurance.
Intriguing.
No jokes. Its legit. Insurance for shit like alien pregnancy, alien examinations (does this includes ETAP?), and death by the inevitable alien enema – I’m also pretty certain the policies include insurance for the most vulnerable area behind ones ribcage (in case one unwillingly provides it as a host for alien birth). Unfortunately however, no where does it mention insurance for occasionally allowing the use of our bodies as vessels for out-of-world parasites looking to experience the art of nookie and sexploration.
For some reason, wackos contactees are always obsessed by the idea of inter-specie sexual reproduction, and the insertion of reasonably painful probes into the anus. Perhaps the desire for the placement of said object, goes hand-in-hand with a mental breakdown an alien sighting/experience.
Scientific tests should be performed. I think I’m onto something.
Apart from the traumatism inflicted by these unsympathetic fictional lifeforms that have traveled vast distances simply to perform uncomfortable operations, there is also undoubtedly a fair amount of skepticism surrounding the very sightings – mainly due to the lack of physical evidence, and the individuals mental capacity. Saying that, most (if not all) of the time… UFO sightings are often unmasked in less than 2 words…
Fucking weather balloons!
Simple.
So where is the Weather Balloon Insurance Policy? People are dying, hello!
Anyways, heres something pretty kewl:
